A little over a year ago I wrote a post about the things
I’ve learned about happiness and about how following God’s path for me is the
source of my greatest happiness. If you’d like to refresh yourself on this
little life lesson of mine (or if you want to read it for the first time!),
click HERE.
Recently, Heavenly Father has given me the opportunity to
learn some more about happiness and I would like to share some of what I’ve
learned. I realize that this post is quite a bit more personal than most of my
other posts, but I’m sure there are others who have similar thoughts and
feelings. My hope is that this will benefit someone else, in some way.
My single greatest desire is to be married and have a family.
There is literally nothing I want more than that. No job. No career. No status
or title. No possession or experience. I want to be a wife and a mother. I
don't care if I am never well known to the world. I want to quietly serve my
entire life in what I think are the most important roles I could ever have. I
believe that's one of the biggest reasons we are here – to have families. So
sometimes I just can't fathom why that is so difficult for me to reach. I see
many of my friends get married and start having families. Why did it seem so
easy for some of them? All they really wanted was to be married and have a
family and they got that, seemingly with little struggle. So why can't I have
it too? I'm graduating in just over a month, and I couldn't manage to find a
husband among the thousands of people in the five years I was at BYU. What the
heck?
Those are some of the things I've thought about in the past
few weeks. But Heavenly Father has tenderly and lovingly humbled me and
answered some of those questions for me, teaching me some very important
lessons.
First, I need to have more faith in His plan for me. He has
a plan of happiness for me. He sees the end from the beginning. He knows what
will bring me the most long-term joy, and what will bring me long-term sorrow.
He knows where I can do the most good and what will help me grow and progress
the most in this life.
Second, not only does He know the what of my happiness and
progress, but probably more importantly He knows the timing. Timing is
something I struggle with A LOT. I definitely have my own little timetable of
when I think things should happen. I think I know when good timing is so I try
really hard to make that timing work, and it's usually when it fits neatly into
my plans. But He knows better and can see more clearly than I can. My
patriarchal blessing tells me that I will be a wife and a mother in this life.
Interestingly though, it tells me that these are callings I will receive. We
don't choose the timing of our callings (with the possible exception of a
mission). They come from the Lord, when He needs us to fill those roles that we
are called to. He knows the best timing for us and others.
Third, while my great desire to be a wife and mother is a
righteous, worthy, and important one, it should not be my greatest desire. My greatest desire should be to serve
the Lord in whatever capacity He needs me to right now. My greatest desire
should be to follow His will and do His work, no matter where that takes me.
I'm sure there are many who may look at that desire and think, "Wow,
that's pretty selfish of God. He just wants us to do what He wants, not what we
want. We don't get any say in this at all. What kind of life is that, just
doing whatever God's whim is? That's so unfair." You know, I've thought
those things too, and they make a good argument. It kind of does seem unfair.
But Satan is a very cunning and convincing liar. What he fails to mention, is
God's perfect, pure love for us. He is motivated only by love. God doesn't ask us to do His will simply to use us
and make us do things. He asks us to do His will because He wants us to
experience the joy and happiness available to us and He knows exactly how each
of us, individually, can experience that. If my greatest desire is to always do
the Lord's will, then I will experience the happiness I desire, because He
knows how to give that to me.
I know that my Savior knows me, personally, and He knows my
individual path of happiness. I know that He loves me more than I can even
comprehend. How do I know that? Because He made the ultimate sacrifice on my
behalf. He suffered all the pain and sorrow I would ever experience in this
life, all so that He could pave the way of happiness for me, and then guide me
along it. He will never steer me
wrong. I know the same is true for you.
